Cyber Bullies Need A Kick Of Reality

SOCIAL media brings people from all over the world together, to discuss anything at all. Anyone can sign into a social media website and create an account, enabling them to comment freely and openly. Sounds great, doesn’t it?
If only it were that simple. People tend to be more outspoken when they have a strong dislike or liking for something. Social media websites convey a sense of popularity, and we judge and are judged by the photos we upload, the comments we post and the number of online friends/followers and ‘likes’ we have on these websites.
Facebook is not such a good thing for those with low self esteem. Social media sites clearly feed on people’s egos, making them susceptible to and dependent on others’ views and comments. On the surface, social media is about staying in touch with people, but on further inspection it is about perfecting one’s image – having a lot of friends, displaying fun-filled photos, attending parties and other social events (which is shown through a Facebook invite). It’s becoming purely narcissistic and ego driven.
Cyber bullying has been a contributor to several teenage deaths in Ireland in recent months. Thirteen year old Erin Gallagher and fifteen year old Ciara Pugsley both died by suicide, which was strongly related  to being victims of cyber bullying.
A harrowing aspect of negative commenting, is that it is rarely in a private message, there are often hundreds or thousands of others who can view the comment and can choose to ‘like’ it. This gives the bully an audience. But this audience is both public and private. The people who view it are mostly friends and acquaintances of the receiver. Unlike a physical brawl or a verbal attack in public, passers-by cannot intervene and confront the bully.
When one receives a negative comment from someone in person, there are rarely hundreds of people around listening attentively waiting to give a thumbs up or to watch silently. The receiver can walk away and choose to concentrate on a more positive memory. But on a social media site, the comment remains on the site for others to read and comment on. It’s not a question of hearing something incorrectly – it’s on the screen to read and re-read. The comment can be deleted by the receiver, but by the stage it is read by him/her, many people have already viewed it.
Facebook permanently asks the question: “What’s on your mind?” but it is not a diary, no one wants to hear you complain and whine, what it really should say is: “Anything funny or interesting to say? If not, don’t say anything.”
Teenagers are the most vulnerable in this social media craze. However, children are beginning to use social media too and although parents may think that their online behaviour is harmless, they are only just learning the difference between moral and immoral behaviour. Without regulation, they may become cyber bullies, cyber bullied or watch passively as others are bullied online.
Of course, parents cannot stand over their children every time they are online, but they do need to warn them not to say anything online that they would not say in a room full of people. Children should also be warned that if they use an anonymous name, their username can still be traced back to them, if it needs to be. Teachers also need to address their students on the consequences of misusing the internet and stress that it is not acceptable to insult or offend others online. If they see this happening they should report this behaviour to a teacher, parent or older sibling.